Cubed

Historian: Caleb. Date: 03/03/2025

TLDR – Anja creates the potion of “large animals want to find and kill you”. We meet Qaz, who tells us more about Gunthar Aisling, and warns us of a strange otter to the west of Low Falutin. He stays at our camp for the night. Alphie has a dream, and reconnects with an old friend. Gwyn comes clean to us. Alphie doesn’t. We find out the Gibbit can shapeshift. We drop Newton off in Low Falutin (promising to meet back up with him after we take care of Quasit), and go to confront our nemesis. Astranna licks another cube. The cubes kick our asses.

• Date: 5 Lionnir 777AR – 6 Lionnir 777AR.

• Anna gives the recap.
• We pick up with all of us settling down to camp for the night. Anja tries to fashion the fabric she got into a little scarf for Henrietta (mental – 2 successes). She tries to fold it in an interesting way to get interesting pleats, and ties it around Henrietta.
  • “What’s going on?”
  • “I have put clothes on you.”
  • “Okay.”
• Astranna tells Henrietta she looks cute, and Henrietta says “Okay” and continues to look around wide-eyed. Maple looks at Anja expectantly, and asks where hers is. Anja has made her a bunch of clothes, but that’s not enough. Maple wants another 5 scarves. She demands scritches, after telling Anja not to get testy with her.
• Anja decides to test her cauldron. She thinks, “Cauldron. Cauldron. Cauldron!” And a massive 10lb cauldron appears in the air before her, hitting the ground in front of her. She throws in the Gibbarette, a rock with a strip of quartz, and Astranna’s 9 of hearts. She rolls a d10 (10), and there’s a vibrant, citrusy smell. After 10 minutes there’s a flash of light and energy, and the bubbling stops. She looks in, and there’s a small iridescent potion sitting at the bottom in a glass vial.
  • She has an innate sense of what it does – whoever drinks it will have powerful creatures drawn to them for 1 hour. The creatures will want to fight them.
• Gwyn pulls out the gold elixir she obtained, and makes a mental check to see what it does (0 successes). She has no clue, but it looks pretty! Anja also makes a mental check.
  • “That’s a liquid, certainly. Shiny.”
• Alphie looks at it… it seems to be something fairly impactful. Noticing their friend floating above it, they think it’s probably not bad at all. They relay this to the group. We hear a voice call out from a patch of trees and grass.
  • “Hey, ho, hey! Are there people over there? [...] Could I trouble you for a bit of campfire time?”
• We see an individual with a large sack thrown over their shoulder, carrying a banjo and a few other musical instruments. They stand about 3’ tall, with flesh covered in heavy brown scales, and hands with longer claws that are perfect for plucking at the strings.

• He introduces himself as Qaz – just a traveling bard, and a friend! It quickly comes out that he’s a follower of Gunthar Aisling, and that he believes Gunthar is the only god. He gets up on a stump and plays faster, regaling us with stories about Gunthar – he tells us he created the Skybound Lands by laughing so hard he coughed it up, and shrank down so now he walks with us, dancing and laughing and making a good ol’ time. Once he was so happy he danced along a field and turned all the strawberries chocolate, and that’s why we have chocolate strawberries today.
• He’s thrilled to find out we’re the Tattercoat Knights! We ask if we can meet Gunthar, and he says probably, if we can find him – he’ll be everywhere and nowhere, wherever we need hooting and hollering! But if we’re the prophesized Tattercoat Knights, he’ll find us eventually.
• Qaz tells us he wanders around and sings songs, it’s what they all like to do – life’s too short to be miserable. We ask if all followers of Gunthar Aisling do what he does, and he says most try to. Some get old, and some of the young ones try to set up roots. We’re told Gunthar likes spirits who are merry and full of smiles.
  • Qaz has never met him, but Gunthar’s always with us, and always knows what we’re doing. Maybe that’s the reason Gunthar brought him here!
• Qaz tells us he was thinking he would start walking thataway (and points to the west). We ask him where Low Falutin is, and he tells us to follow the trails south and we’ll get there by noon tomorrow. He tells us there’s an otter nearby, and groups of little critters made of bluish gel bringing pieces over… maybe just a little west of Low Falutin.
• He also warns us that there are scrimbimblos in the area. Newton tenses up upon hearing this, and says he’s heard of them; they’re no joke. They prowl around the Skybound Lands, snatching up anyone if they get the chance. You’re supposed to dig a hole and bury it with rocks when you hear they’re coming. His mom told him they’re 9ft tall, with fangs that could cut down an oak tree, but his uncle said they were more like big snakes with many hands, and could enter your mind with their powers… you had to count all the leaves on a tree before you could get away, or else it would eat ya.
• We ask more about Gunthar, and he tells us his prayers are dance, his hymns are hoots and hollers. Occasionally, if you need help, he might lend a hand here or there. He points out that Jericho looks like he might need a bit of help himself, and Jericho says he’s just a tad stressed. Qaz offers him tea, to ease his burdens, and pulls out a thermos and a small chipped teacup. He pours a sort of clear, maybe green-tinted liquid. Very minty smell. Jericho thinks for a second and drinks it… it’s earthy, with a slightly mint aftertaste. Decent! Qaz drinks what he doesn’t finish.
• We set up watches – because of the time of night, we only need 2. It’s Astranna and Gwyn. Astranna’s watch is uneventful (0 successes on her check). As she goes to bed, she can’t visit her mom’s dream, but constructs a dream of their campsite, with the figures of her sleeping friends and a nice, crackling fire… she has no way of knowing if the dream reaches its destination. Gwyn takes her watch, and lets people sleep in a little.
• Alphie’s dreams are strange… they find themself in a great cavern, crystal stalactites coming down from the ceiling with a strange luster and glow. They’re surrounded by gold and jewels. It is… not cold. They sift through some of the piles, and find a big fat green frog beneath the surface of the gold. They pat its head, and it blinks at them with beautiful hazel human eyes. Alphie greets it, and it blinks at them before hopping away quickly, making its way toward a mountainous pile in the center. It’s trying to hop up to the top, but keeps sliding back down. On top of the tile is a freshly baked apple pie. They help it reach the pie, and it licks the pie before kicking it off of the pile.
• Alphie asks what that was for, and the frog croaks and hops to the other side of the pile. Alphie follows, and sees the cavern continues on, with a person waiting on the other side with an almost ethereal visage. They stare upon an old friend.
  • “Inora?”
  • “We’re in a very strange place. It’s been a while.”
• They hug, and catch up a little – Inora says she walked down that way, and points to a passage. Alphie wants to help her get out, but they decide to sled down the piles of gold first.
  • “This place is strange, but the world you’re walking through seems almost as strange.” – Inora
• They share some of the splattered pie, and Alphie notices the frog is gone. As they eat, they find themself being shaken awake by Gwyn. She asks if they’re alright, and asks if there were any weird dreams.
  • “A frog with hazel human eyes, who doesn’t like pie very much… other than that, no.”
• Alphie gets breakfast started with Gwyn checks on Jericho, who has ended up splayed half-off his bedroll, head nowhere near his pillow. Absolutely not the position he fell asleep in. They chat a little, and Jericho says he’s gonna try to take things in small steps. Gwyn’s been rolling with the punches – she figured she wouldn’t have any idea what’s going on after day 1.
• Astranna surveys the camp… the Gibbit is nowhere to be seen, and Qaz is still snoozing. We call out, looking for the Gibbit, and a squirrel floats into view. We ask if it’s the Gibbit, and get a “Meh!” in response. It turns into Alphie, and then Jericho, and then Alphie again. And then Maple. Maple hates this, and chases it into the woods.
• Astranna talks to Gwyn about the dream powder, and asks if Gwyn ever reached out to her mom – she hasn’t, yet. Jericho asks if he can have the sleeping powder tonight, so he can talk to his sister. He was looking for her when he got pulled here, and she’s probably found that out by now. Astranna passes over the dream powder.
• Gwyn calls us over to tell us why she wanted to drink from the cup.
  • “I’m a machine. A robot. I’m not human. And that’s why I wanted to drink from it. I figured if there was a poison of some kind, it wouldn’t hurt me.”
• She apologizes for deceiving us, and when asked, says she’s immune to some poisons – she can’t get sick, but if it’s something that burns you on the inside, it might still mess her up. Astranna’s a little disappointed that she doesn’t have any cool powers, but Anja proposes that her cool power is friendship. Jericho and Alphie cheers this with water.
• Qaz wakes up and starts packing up his things.
  • “I hope to see you around someday, so that we can dance together again!”
• He tells us to do a little dance for Gunthar Aisling before we lay our heads down on our pillows. Gunthar likes that sort of thing.
  • “I know you’ll be the greatest party animals in the land!”
• He strums on his banjo and happily dances away into the distance, humming, laughing, and singing to himself. We march off to Low Falutin, and just after lunchtime, a quiet, peaceful town comes into view, amongst rolling hills of wheat, rye, and other crops. It doesn’t seem like a big or busy place, but on a nearby hilltop 4-5 miles out of town, there appears to be a strange ball of energy floating in the air.
• Newton is excited to be back, and wants to head back home and make sure everything’s okay there. The rest of us would like to go deal with Quasit, so we agree to meet up next to the well and march off. Jericho lights up a cigarette, and after some puppy dog eyes, gives one to Alphie too, and Gwyn (baby’s first!). Everyone yells at Astranna when she eyes the pack curiously.
• The air begins to feel a little warm to Alphie, and the rest of the party feels a definite electricity. Everyone wearing earrings needs to roll 2d6 – Alphie gets a 3, and as they’re walking along, on one side of their earrings, the metal starts to twinkle and sparkle in the light, before turning into a rectangle on their ear. The weight is thrown off, and they list to the side. Everyone else takes their earrings out as a precaution.
  • Astranna mentions that she hopes she remembers to put them in – her mom got mad at her when she accidentally let hers close over before.
• Alphie tries to pet the Gibbit, and gets to make a spirit save (0 successes). The Gibbit makes a low vibrating sound, and Alphie begins to do something the GM doesn’t know if they’ve ever done before… they begin to sweat. The Gibbit makes a bunch of strange noises. It’s hard to tell what they mean.
• Astranna pets the Gibbit, and it makes its normal noises, and coughs up an 18-inch cigarette just for her. No one is willing to light it for her, but Jericho cuts it into normal-size cigarettes and gives one back to her. She stows it away.
• Ahead of us, we see a large blue cube making its way across the ground, squishing over roots, grass, and dirt. It stops for a moment, seeming to be watching the party, before orienting toward the floating ball of energy and starting to move toward it. Astranna licks it, and takes 5 dmg (sp). Everyone hates this.
• Further ahead, we see many cubes inching along the floor of the grove, as well as a massive contraption – a huge dish, with magic spreading out. Atop the machine, pushing buttons like a madman, is one deranged otter. He calls us nemesises… nemesi… nemits. We tell him he can’t reclaim that. He looks down at his hands.
  • “No matter, this makes me more eeeevil!”
• He tells us he’s taken some constructive criticism. The humidity thing was a complete wash – some people do go outside in the rain, and umbrellas can exist, and things like that. Some people actually like that. But this new contraption will truly grind the Skybound Lands to a halt. This machine is his square wheels-majigger! It will turn anything round square! We find out through talking to him that he’s calibrating it for each individual type of item. Jericho pulls out his gun.
  • “What is with you and that thing?!”

Combat begins

• Jericho burns things to go first.
• Order: Jericho → Dr. Quasit → Anja → Gwyn → Green Ooze → Astranna → Blue Ooze → Alphie.

Round 1

• Jericho fires and misses, and the bullet ricochets around. Quasit hits the deck. Jericho fires and misses again.
  • “You should really cut that out! You know what, I’m gonna turn your brain square!”
• Jericho is targeted by the charlie horse ray, but dodges. On a distant farmstead, a poor dad with his first day off in 3 days is hit.
  • “Matilda, get the cream!!!”
• The dish begins to power up even more, and Anja uses Curse of Eyeless Terror on Quasit, before placing Command on him. Gwyn goes up to try and hit a cube, completely unsuccessfully. The blade goes in and just jiggles back and forth. One ooze manifests an appendage on one of its faces, and lashes out at Jericho for 3 normal acid dmg.
• Gwyn is absorbed by an ooze, and restrained inside. If she doesn’t get out before the start of its next turn, she’ll take 20 normal acid dmg. Alphie tries to grab her out, but burns their hand and has to yank it back. They successfully place their bg action on her.

Round 2

• Jericho shoots the ooze Gwyn’s in for 2 dmg, and takes a slight corner off of it. He tries to go through Quasit’s magic barrier, but fails his phys save, and hears Quasit laughing. Quasit uses his Square Brain-ifier on Jericho and Anja. It misses Jericho, but Anja gets a terrible headache as her mental score is reduced to 0. Anja uses a Curse of Blighting Hex on Quasit.
• Gwyn makes a phys save to get out (2 successes), and successfully leaps out of the ooze. One of the green oozes rolls up on Anja and consumes her, before using its pseudopod attack on Alphie… for 0 dmg, thanks to their shield rating! Gwyn is also attacked, for 3 normal acid dmg.
• Astranna is trapped in an ooze and unable to escape. She heals herself a little. Gwyn and Alphie also get consumed, and Alphie is unable to escape on their turn.

Round 3

• Quasit’s machine continues to ramp up, and Jericho circles around the machine to take a potshot at the ooze that has Anja in it. The bullet whizzes through. He gives Astranna Chosen’s Blessing.
• Quasit cackles maniacally, and a beam of energy fires up into the air, impacting the sphere… the ball of energy expands, and as we all look around, we can see the trees (and everything else) becoming more square-like.
• The session ends here!